Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Fascinating Predictions for 2012

This is the Old Moore's Almanac 2012 Press Release. It's an interesting read :) Andrew. Old Moore’s Almanac has been around for two and a half centuries. In its time, it has made some crazy predictions about the future. A disturbing amount of them have come true. The Old Moore’s Almanac 2012 edition will be released in the first week of December and it has more predictions for us all to discuss over a nice hot cup of whatever you darn well fancy. In celeb news, one or both of Jedward will propose marriage, much to the heartbreak of their audience. There will be a gold super spike, so those who bought ten years ago are super-celebrating! There is a divorce on the cards for Sarah Palin. And for those planning to head to Australia for a sea-change will be disappointed with the prediction that Australia’s economy will bust this year. Emigrate elsewhere! Hilary Clinton could possible win a Nobel Peace Prize, and she could also have a cougar moment. And boy does she deserve one. A not-so-good prediction is that The Duke of Edinburgh will die in his sleep. In other bad news, the current pope will also pass over, and the new pope comes to power in strange circumstances. And in the worst news of all (look away if easily saddened) the weather in 2012 will be HUGELY RUBBISH! In other sticky-situation news, a cruise ship will be damaged at sea, with a fire on board. It will be the first in 3 or 4 problems with large cruise ships world-wide. Be prepared to abandon ship! In procreation news, Prince William and wife Catherine will have a baby girl. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will adopt 3 more children, 2 of them are twins. In high-tech predictions, there will be a rise in the use of biometric security systems in 2012 as the devices become mass-produced for the first time. You could be using your fingerprint or your eyeball to gain access to your house…and here’s the good news, you may lose your keys but you won’t be losing you eyeball any time soon. In electric news, the American power grid suffers a broad failure and many people again are weeks without power. This causes the EU to examine their power grid and operations and we get a bit of an old fight. As well as the predictions, the Almanac also has many other features on farming in impossible areas, and a look back at the accidentally funny 1920 issue of the Almanac. It also hosts a discussion of Irish traditions which should be revived, such as Women’s Christmas, and Bilberry Sunday, in which smug marrieds watch young hotties get dates whilst halfway in a bilberry bush. We also have an article remembering the peat bog days, where many families would spend the day cutting turf for the winter. Our Irish-speaking writer of this article, Ciarán Mac Aonghusa is available for interviews in Irish. After a re-launch for the 2010 edition, sales have increased markedly, an unusual result in a recession. The magazine has been repositioned to catch wider market, including younger people interested in not only future predictions, but futurism as a subject. This edition sees us pairing up with both facebook and twitter. When Theophilus Moore first started this Almanac in 1764 using rudimentary printing practices, little did he know that now people all over the world would be able to access all that is Old Moore’s Almanac with the click of a mouse. I’m sure Theopihilus knew what a mouse was…although in his day it wouldn’t be something welcome on his desk.

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